Mrs. C

 

I am a used car dealer. In the scope of that entrepreneurial endeavor there are many interactions with the public.

We named our business “Journey” in part.

“Life’s a journey” is the idea. On that journey, I have changed, I feel for the better. (on a good day, anyway.)

This story is about Mrs. C.

She’s a proud black lady with a penchant for asserting herself. She was helping her now compliant daughter buy a car.

They had many problems with a previous dealer purchase. Mrs. C. brought her to me having bought a car from Journey years past.

We made a deal and, in the process, as is so often the case, re-established our bond of mutual respect.

The next week I was out of town and during that time I received a report there had been an engine light after the sale that was resolved with a new gas cap.

After returning to work, I was told, “There’s a lady here. I tried to talk to her while you were gone, and she would not listen. All she did was yell and now she’s here saying she’s returning the car.”  

My first utterance was to remind her of our contractual agreement at which her volume elevated and she began once again to describe all the problems and inconvenience she and her daughter had experienced with a  previous purchase elsewhere and how she “Was not going to go through that again.”

I made a conscious decision to hear her out.

When she seemed to slow down I heard myself say, “Mrs. C, might we invite God into our conversation?”

“Yes,” Mrs. C said much softer.

“First Mrs. C,  I want you to know that the most important thing here in this moment is you and your daughter. “

I’m thinking, who the hell is this talking? I’ve been a Scots Irish scrapper all my life, but a teacher has entered said life and this other guy has come to dwell within.

From there I reviewed and empathized. I offered some mechanical and economic experience and as I was speaking her dark eyes filled until a tear broke free traveling her cheek into her surgical covid mask.

I was touched as we stood in the bright day, like in a capsule as the phones rang and people skirted all around us.

Since then we have had other exchanges. Some also testy yet in the end we met on common ground. I don’t expect smooth sailing through the term of contract.

I do expect a reasonable exchange of ideas and perspective grounded in spirit. Sometimes that’s not all warm and fuzzy. Sometimes its messy and folks get upset.

What matters is that in the end we are all working toward the same goal. What is that goal? I would contend that it is to live in positive relationship.

Not long ago I was reading and there it was, “God gives us family to teach us how to live in the world with others.”

I can disagree, but I cannot attack. I can argue but I need not yell. I can live but must let others live too.

Sometimes the best that can happen is we just agree to disagree. When I find myself with my guard up in ready position I know one thing. Until I alter my “posture” there’s only going to be a fight.

Relationship is not a gift. It’s something I must work on.

I suppose it’s just a matter of whether we care about relationship or not.

I had a thought and looked for scripture. This is what was there;

Philippians 2:5

“Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,”

Funny … seems like I always find what I am looking for when I can search with an open heart.