I had stopped posting for a while. It was all coming out about cancer. I tried intercessory prayer for a week or two. I have returned to only praying for God's will for me ... for us. This is whole. This is right. This is good.
While praying for his will it came clearly, "Carry my message." I was concerned that the writing was not good writing. I was concerned what people might think. I was concerned for the privacy of my loved ones. I don't believe that this way of thinking is God's will.
I'm not sure what I can do to help. I only know that this is what I do. I can only pray that it can help. If only one person ... for one millisecond can find something in these words that makes things better ... that shines a light in the darkness ... then I will have accomplished my goal.
Peace and blessings to all God's children :
My son has
Cancer. He’s
Suffering, pale
Yet laughing. He
Vomits then grins,
“It’s all good, Dad.”
He’s gone now to shoot
A bow and arrow with a
Hunting friend. Tomorrow
He’ll be too sick. I swallow
My food knowing he can’t.
His twin brother is suffering.
They are at the age of finding
Themselves yet now frozen in
This time of sickness. Their mother
Is suffering as she slips on the rocks
Of this endless, tumbling river. Each
Careful step, treachery defies her. She’s
Better than she sees herself and it claws
At her motherhood like an angry beast
Gnawing at her doubt. In the darkness
I feel the embrace of God. I listen and
Toil as I hear in the distant fog others
Crossing the river. I mourn for the
Suffering children. They come
With their bald heads and
Imploring eyes reaching
Out to touch my mouth
With their trembling
Fingertips.