Playing In the Tub

I’m not sure if it’s time or age or a learning to wait, observe and listen or all of these things but of late I am ever mindful of our fragile natures.

I am surrounded by young men and both observe

and interact with them daily. In that process I see that though they strive with such ardor to appear strong and capable (and they in many ways are) they are affected by each comment, nuance, mood.

In their minds, explanation and direction become criticism. If one is not careful an attempt to teach becomes little more than an admonishment.

My goal is to teach without criticism. To guide as much as possible by example. Yet there is often a time when lecture is necessary to avoid problems.

Among one another they joke and tease. Yesterday that devolved into a battle between two of them in which attacking the softest spots of  became the goal. I must say that listening all I could think of was immaturity yet I let it go …. Listening … thinking.

The next morning I heard one apologize for his part but heard no response from the other. It is possible that he gestured yet I wonder. If you cannot speak your position is there any truth in it? I know that he is prone to grudges.

The apologizer is prone to bait others and tease a lot so I expect it began there but I realize that where it began doesn’t mean much.

We have our 3 year old God son for the weekend. Last night as I watched him play in the bath tub I couldn’t help but notice how attentive was his play. In that focus I saw vulnerability. My heart flew out to him as I recognized his future in a world that will not love him as much as I do.

Society will not be careful with his heart. This morning my heart goes out to these young men. What happened yesterday was that the child in the bathtub playing was slapped and left to process his feelings.

The last thing I had heard the grudge carrier say as he slammed out the door was, “It was an argument but I don’t see why you would want to demean somebody.”

I hear the message loud and clear.

Be careful with people’s hearts. From the grizzled construction worker to the Mother of children we are all  on one level just children playing in the tub.