Suffering

  I had stopped posting for a while. It was all coming out about cancer. I tried intercessory prayer for a week or two. I have returned to only praying for God's will for me ... for us. This is whole. This is right. This is good.
  While praying for his will it came clearly, "Carry my message." I was concerned that the writing was not good writing. I was concerned what people might think. I was concerned for the privacy of my loved ones. I don't believe that this way of thinking is God's will.
  I'm not sure what I can do to help. I only know that this is what I do. I can only pray that it can help. If only one person ... for one millisecond can find something in these words that makes things better ... that shines a light in the darkness ... then I will have accomplished my goal.

Peace and blessings to all God's children :

My son has


Cancer. He’s

Suffering, pale

Yet laughing. He

Vomits then grins,

“It’s all good, Dad.”

He’s gone now to shoot

A bow and arrow with a

Hunting friend. Tomorrow

He’ll be too sick. I swallow

My food knowing he can’t.

His twin brother is suffering.

They are at the age of finding

Themselves yet now frozen in

This time of sickness. Their mother

Is suffering as she slips on the rocks

Of this endless, tumbling river. Each

Careful step, treachery defies her. She’s

Better than she sees herself and it claws

At her motherhood like an angry beast

Gnawing at her doubt. In the darkness

I feel the embrace of God. I listen and

Toil as I hear in the distant fog others

Crossing the river. I mourn for the

Suffering children. They come

With their bald heads and

Imploring eyes reaching

Out to touch my mouth

With their trembling

Fingertips.